Freda Mooncotch member for 1 year 25 weeks Send a message

Kiss the toad, Lose the prince. I thought about this last night while I was working out and listening to the song 49% by Royksopp. Women cheat, in fact, statistics say that women are cheating at the same rate as men with the exception that they are more cunning about it and far less likely to get caught than men.

One in five married women has had a fling at one time or another says Tom W. Smith from the National Opinion Research Center. And it isn't on the decline either. Contrary to it going away, infidelity amongst women is on the rise. Worse for men, women are initiating 70 to 75% of all divorces.

What is going on?

Now more than ever women have been given the permission to be sexual and take responsibility for their own sexual needs. In addition, women are now working, independent, financially secure, are working out and use the internet which has exposed them to the same tempting situations men have found themselves in for years - women have more sexual opportunities than ever before. With as many opportunities as men, women are constantly faced with the same choices men once were only privy to. Guess what? They are taking up those opportunities with gusto and cheating is no longer a man's perogative.

WHY?

Some theories say that it is because women push men so hard in the beginning of relationships toward marriage and once they accomplish the goal of the ring, the wedding and the house, they lose interest in their hubby. Many believe that a woman uses her sexuality to bond with a man in the beginning of the relationship and once a woman has forged that bond with a man in matrimony, her sex drive decreases significantly and the longer the couple is together the more her sex drive decreases while the man's sex drive stays the same.

As a woman, I would have to agree with the first theory. I spent a great deal in my twenties studying the emotional aspect of relationships and recently I have spent some time pondering on the scientific side. Women are driven to find the best possible male to mate with. A man who will take care of her and her offspring, thus she searches for a financially stable man, who has drive, is intelligent and will guarantee the well being of her offspring, after all she has only so many attempts.  Many women, unaware of their own biological drives, put their best attributes forward which are their bust line, looks and hot bodies to attract the best suitors as soon as possible while not thinking about being stimulated on deeper levels.

While men are built to mate with as many women as possible, they tend
to choose younger looking, small-waisted, big breasted women because these attributes signify fertility and sexuality.  One man carries within his loins the ability "to sire more than two hundred times the present population of four billion on the planet!" Moreover, "The normal male ejaculates enough semen (over a lifetime) to generate one trillion human lives." says, Mantak Chia and Michael Winn in their book Taoist Secrets of Love: Cultivating Male Sexual Energy.

Women aren't so lucky. They have to be selective and they can't waste time finding a suitor. But, once they do find that suitor they tend to lose interest. In one study I was reading, the author said that once a couple gets married their sex life drops off tremendously. She now has what she wants and maybe realizes after all that work, what was all this fuss for? Many women really go out of their way to give up much of who they are in order to "capture" a man and his attention. Could their be some resentment and anger towards their beloved mate? Possibly, but I am not an expert.

This is why I have rejected and fought my own desires because they have a tendency to screw everything up. Women and men both want more but don't realize this until they actually achieve these natural drives and desires within. Expectations are so high, and the disappointment so enormous for many unrealistic couples that cheating isn't the last resort anymore. It is the more common antidote to a larger problem of biological ignorance.

Another theory is that many people jump into marriage too young and after a few years of maturing they wake to realize that they made a bad choice. Those who wait seem to make better choices and make greater investments into those relationships.  Could it be they make better choices that are less about their biological drives and more intellectually driven?  I am finding this theory to be more true than ever.  

While other experts suggest that it is due to the lack of passion in their marriage, emotional abandonment from their husbands or their just flat out bored, like so many men claim when they step out on their wives. And surprise, surprise, it is women that everyone least expects!

Regardless of which theory is right or wrong or maybe there are truths in all, the point is.....women are cheating and they aren't stopping any time soon. The reasons are as complex as women themselves. But, the reality is, you could find yourself with a real toad losing the prince that you once held in high esteem!

To find out more, here are three very good articles that discuss the ever prevalant topic of "Women Who Cheat."

http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/features/ch...

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17951664/

http://www.womensinfidelity.com/

http://marriage.about.com/cs/sexualstatistics/a/se...