Freda Mooncotch member for 1 year 25 weeks Send a message

Ever wondered what draws you to one person instantaneously, while another person you hardly notice? I am always curious about anything that involves men, women, love, sex, romance........I am a relationship junky. I have the desire to figure it ALL out. Really though, I enjoy discovering our differences, discovering the little nuances that make us crazy about each other and ultimately long for a deeper understanding of the male pshyce.

I am on a roll with Psychology Today this month, but in my defense, they really have some great subjects and articles. One article I really enjoyed reading and round very interesting was based around "the laws of attraction" and "sex appeal" and how they play into how attractive we are to others and how attractive others are to us.

This little vignette called, Fast Forces of Attraction: The Building Blocks of Sex Appeal is loaded with some great insite into the human pshyce. First, doesn't that picture look yummy. I mean who doesn't want to be embraced like that?

Basically, the article talks about 9 forces that cause "instant attraction." The first being the way we talk, not so much what we say, but the sound of our voices. I have to say, this is true. I am very attracted to a strong voice, deep voice. In fact, I know when I really like someone, because I LOVE when they say my name and when they talk. The sound of their voice makes me tingle all over.

Second is how you are perceived by others. Does your reputation proceed you before you walk in the door? Apparently we are attracted to people whom other people find attractive. It is referred to as "mate-choice copying." Again, I have to agree with this statement. When someone says something really sweet, or positive about the man you are enamored with, it makes you confident that you are making a good choice. Word of caution, before you believe a bad comment made by someone, do a little research of your own and consider who you are getting your information from before you mis-judge a good guy based on bad info.

The third force is choosing someone from the same social class. This makes sense. We are attracted to people who live the same lifestyle's as we do. Saves for a lot of needless arguments.

The forth force is your good genes. No need to go into this one, I think we all get the picture.

The fifth force is your state of mind or your mood. I especially enjoyed this one and emphasize this force. To sum it up, "We are attracted to someone when we like the way we look in their eyes. We're most attracted to those who see us as we want to be seen, who allow us room to stretch - to be, or become, our best self." My advice is to treat and see people in the very best light no matter what and they will do their very best to live up to how you see them.

The sixth force is charisma. Ohh, the power of charisma. I love charismatic people. I can think of one in particular right now. According to this article, "Researchers believe our strongest perceptions of mutual attraction develop in those first encounters where two people have a measurable physiological reaction to one another." It is likened to electricity and I believe it!

The seventh force is humor. Pay attention gentleman. Studies show that men are usually the one cracking jokes because women tend to find men who are funny incredibly "hot," because wit signals intelligence and creativity. However, men value "humor appreciation" much more because it indicates sexual receptivity! I have always said, "It takes a very smart man to be witty and funny!" In addition, research shows that humor compatibility = marital bliss. Often times, when you throw a joke out there, you are searching for the person who "get's" it, because they will most likely "get" you!

The eighth force is playing hard to get, being unattainable, but not so much that you push your potential suitor away. Just enough to make them continue to invest time into you and feel like you are worth it, after all YOU ARE! When you don't seem to available, it makes you mysterious. Boy, I could really learn a lot from that one!

Lastly, the ninth force is walking tall and exuding confidence. The more relaxed and assured you are, the more comfortable other feel in your presence. Great quality to bring to all your relationships.

My pesonal favorites are the voice, the state of mind, charisma, humor and throw in a side of hard to get, just enough to make it interesting (I get exhausted and bored quickly).

So now that you know what makes you attractive and what your strengths are, go on, go use them to your advantage.

Hope you enjoyed.