Freda Mooncotch member for 1 year 25 weeks Send a message

I am so impressed with all the strong women who are writing on our site. I enjoy reading every person's posts and reading their view points. We have some of the most intelligent women writing about their personal life experiences from relationships to career to love and romance! It is impressive.

Okay, so my question is, "What is wrong with wanting a man anyway?" Why is it deemed bad or that a woman is considered desperate if she desires companionship or love from God forbid the opposite sex.............from a MAN? Ohhhhh there I said it. I said that "M" word. The new dirty three letter word! Worse than the F*^K word in many cases.

Okay, I am kidding, but seriously, I am so tired of being made to feel like shit becuase I desire a relationship with a man. I don't envision myself cuddled up in bed with a woman, maybe a dog or a cat, but a MAN would be preferable. I don't know any little girl or any one of my girlfriends who grew up and said, "Boy, I can't wait til I get older so I can date a real asshole and then marry that asshole who treats me like shit and have his children too." I really don't know any girls who said that. Nor do I think any of you know them either.

Life can be complicated by the time your parents work their own shit out, you turn 18 and you wake up and realize you have similar, if not the same issues that your parents had and now you are stuck trying to work out your stuff too. The problem is, sometimes that results in choosing ALL the wrong people, from friends to mates!

It is easier to look at our friends relationships and tell them what they should or shouldn't do because many times we are working out our own shit through their relationships when we can't even see our own problems. That is why I am very very careful NOT to judge any of my girlfriends and who they date or their love situations because my shit clouds my judgement and I often give faulty advice. I trust that my girl friends and guy friends are smart and intelligent and will work through their stuff in their time. They will figure out if someone is a complete idiot and no matter how much you and I tell them, they won't see it. They have to see it in their time, in their way and when their mind is ready to wrap itself around the truth. Not a second before and making them feel like qrap because we think they are weak or needy or desperate isn't going to help them see the light any faster. Go see the movie "Reign On Me."

The one thing I have learned is the more confidence you have as a person, the better choices you make in life. Build their confidence in other areas. Give them the gift of believing in themselves by believing in them.

My very good friend Dr. Pransky said that love is in the eye of the beholder. Somebody "Mr. Wrong" might be somebody's "Mr. Right." He also says that in relationships we tend to bring out the worst in each other and sometimes you have two people who are intelligent, otherwise well balanced indivduals, who make a great couple, stop giving each other the benefit of the doubt and start assuming the worst in one another which causes a ton of insecurity and then you start to respond to each other out of insecurity and you think, "Oh it has finally happened, this is the REAL him. He was just holding it in for all of these months." When that isn't the case at all.

I for one want a man. For a long time I was so angry and hurt that I put up a huge wall of iron around my heart that very few, if anyone could penetrate. All the while I really wanted it to be penetrated. I used to be the one who was so strong, so independent.......when the truth is I was punishing many of the good ones for a few of the bad ones. There are still some good guys out there, you just have to drop your preconceived notions and let it happen.

Sometimes, it is the ones that you least expect. My dad says that all guys are assholes, you just have to find YOUR asshole. Hey, guys have some suggestive names for us too! I don't think a women is desperate or less of a woman because she desires companionship with a man. I think that only makes her human. I am human.