The Businesswoman's Facelift. Should You Get One?

Plastic surgery is still evolving. With new alternatives like Botox and less invasive, cheaper procedures like the mini face lift, cosmetic treatments are more and more common every year. According to the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery, the number of cosmetic procedures performed per year (including both surgical and non-surgical treatments for women and men) has increased over 500% since 1997. Currently the U.S. is holding steady at about 11.5 million procedures per year (ASAPS 2006). Three percent of the population may not sound very significant, but that’s four times the population of Chicago!

Certainly there will always be those of us who are frightened of it, repulsed by it, or morally opposed to it. Many of us hope we’ll never need it—but what if the returns were great enough to overcome all these positions? So many people are going under the knife (or needle) that something must be right. Maybe being rid of crows’ feet will make you feel more vital. Perhaps perkier breasts will make you more confident. Or maybe a younger face will make you more approachable—thus likelier to receive this raise, that promotion. This week, Nancy has just such ideas:

I am a 46-year-old professional woman in a high-profile position. I am starting to notice that I am looking angry and appear tired, with some sun damage and spots from my earlier sunbathing years. Recently, some of my friends have decided to get mini face lifts, eyelid lifts, botox and fillers-and they look amazing. One of my girlfriends doesn't look angry anymore; she looks twenty years younger but has managed to retain “her look” in spite of it. Since having the surgery, she was made partner in her firm. I am a little nervous but I am considering this, too. Do any other professional women struggle with wanting to appear “younger and fresh?” - Nancy

Freda Says: Nancy, this is a great question. I was recently reading an article in Pink Magazine regarding this very subject. The article was called "The Weekend Facelift" written by Michele Cohen Marill in the September/October issue. Lt. Col. Rita Schell tells her personal story and the reasons why she considered and proceeded to have the "businesswoman's facelift." Here are a few paragraphs from this great article:

"When Rita looked in the mirror what she saw was not the image she wanted to project to the world. With deep furrows in her brow-a result of genetics, aging and sun exposure-made her look as if she had a perpetual scowl, and other lines had formed around her mouth. A lieutenant colonel in the U.S. Air Force, Schell had spent a year in Baghdad, where the harsh sun had taken its toll." After the procedure was finished Schell says, "Someone today saw me who hadn't seen me for months, and he said, 'Wow, you look 20 years younger." She says the treatments have transformed her appearance. People are more inclined to smile at me than they were before."

Another woman in this same article says,"We don't want to be 25 again," explains Susan Bigsby, 52, a professional image consultant based in Boynton Beach, Fl., who has used Botox for five years. "But we do want to retain that polished, professional, refreshed look."

Personally if you want to do it, I say don't ask anyone for permission and just do it. I wouldn't start questioning your self-esteem or any of that. That is all background noise if you ask me. That being said, living in a major metropolitan city, I get to see so many women and there are far to many women, including movie stars, who look........weird! They don't normal and have a new identity which might a sign of deeper issues. A different face isn't going to change who you are our how you feel inside.

I personally had a breast enhancement about 10 years ago and LOVE it! I am planning on doing it again since they need to be re-done about every ten to twelve years. I had a wonderful experience and had a great doctor who emphasized maintaining a natural look. Because I am so open about my procedure, and the fact that my augmentation looks amazingly real, many women have taken my advice and have gotten their own little enhancements. I have yet to hear any of them complain or are disappointed in their decision. In fact, quite the contrary. They don't know why they waited so long! That being said, they all went to really good doctors. I would like to add that insecurity or low self-esteem was NOT the reason why they went through with their procedures, there were many, many other reasons. For example, I had no sensitivity in my breasts whatsoever until my breast augmentation. Now I love that I can feel sensations when they are touched. People just assume you are insecure with your self if you enhance or even fix issues that drive you nuts. This isn't the case. I had a severe case of melasma and didn't realize it could be fixed. I looked like I had a 5 o'clock shadow. It was amazing what a few chemical peels can do. I had brand new skin and was so grateful.

I say go for it, just make sure you go to a doctor that is highly recommended by others and where you can actually see the real results. Both of my doctors will turn down patients if they are being ridiculous in what they are trying to achieve. They both strive for subtle changes and enhancements.

For more information visit: American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery at www.surgery.org or Physicians Coalition for Injectable Safety at www.injectablesafety.org or American Academy of Cosmetic Surgery at www.bewiseaboutbeauty.com and be sure to pick up this months Pink Magazine to read "The Weekend Facelift!"

Energy0809 Says: I have had a face lift and my eyes done. No one has ever asked me if I had plastic surgery. I picked my doctor because of what my friends had experienced. They looked really good after their surgeries. It looked as if they took an enjoyable vacation. When I saw them my first thought was not – they’ve had plastic surgery. I noticed how good they looked. I wanted to know what they had done to look so refreshed. When they told me about their surgery I made an appointment and after talking with the doctor I scheduled the surgery. I am in the business world and women especially have many expectations placed on them. Looking equal to the task is very important. I encourage you to go for it. Make sure you research you doctor very carefully. It would be great if you could talk with clients that have had the procedure and have been satisfied with it. I was very satisfied because I wanted to be me but look refreshed. I wanted to look in the mirror in the morning and not see someone who looked like they needed a lot more sleep but someone who looked alive and pleasant. Again investigate your available doctors and make an appointment with the one that has your confidence. Good luck with your decision.

Dr. Diane Kirschner says: Botox, fillers, lasers and lunch-time facelifts are changing the norm. A timeless, ageless face is becoming the new mark of a successful woman. And most professional women age 40+ who have not taken the plunge are struggling with the issue of looking tired, older or worn-out. The truth is this: A woman’s youth and beauty are often equated with power, success, competence and, I might add, desirability. This type of ageism might make you resentful, angry or sad. But whatever you are feeling, the bottom line is that most of us will have to face this reality. Many of my students, colleagues and friends have carefully chosen top-notch doctors and freshened their appearance. And they have been very happy with their results--they have given themselves an edge in their work, dating and love lives.

Psychologist, Dr. Diana Kirschner, appeared on Oprah & is a frequent guest on the Today Show. For 25+ years she has helped thousands of single women find love and success. Her new book is Love in 90 Days: The Essential Guide to Finding Your Own True Love. For her etips, blog, dating articles, daily affirmations & discussion forum visit www.lovein90days.com

Searah Says: Oh, I find this question so depressing. I have the advantage of owning my own business, so personally I don't have to struggle with this issue. But I hate that there is such a double standard in this world... older men are distinguished, older woman are... well old and useless. To get plastic surgery to get ahead in business is a scary idea to me. It reinforces the idea that women have to look young to succeed and that older women are less valued. By participating in this, we are continuing it. If it were up to me, I would say NO WAY - avoid going under the knife to conform to other people's idea of how you should look. If you are facing age discrimination, fight that.. don't give into it!

But this is a completely personal decision and if you are unhappy with how you look, you have to make the decision about how to want to handle it. If making your frown lines go away would make you feel more confident (and perhaps lead to you approaching your job with more confidence) then you should do what you need to to feel better about yourself and the way you look. But if you are doing it JUST to get ahead in you job, please skip it and let's all work to make the world more friendly to the idea that women age just as wonderfully as men and we are no less valuable because we have a few more years (of experience) under our belts. Older women rock and we need to let the world know!

Searah is a sex educator and owner of Early2Bed. All members of AlphaWomen.com get 10% off of their online purchases when they type in ALPHA in the coupon code area when checking out! Stop by http://www.early2bed.com/ today!

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It's a sad truth that at a certain point, as we age, younger co-workers start not to see us. If this younger set includes your boss(es), this can be a career killer. I remember the day I realized it happened to me. We're social creatures, and nobody can afford to be excluded from the company in-crowd. I look really good for 57, and I know that. It's a combination of genes and good habits that were not consciously adopted to keep from aging quickly, but I hate being in the sun, don't smoke, love to sleep, eat healthy, etc. I am also a creative person, so my personal style shows that somewhat, which helps. That said, I can tell you that regardless of how youthful one looks at 40/45+, you will begin to fade to near-invisibility among younger co-workers. This is no small thing because many women my age have long ago dropped out of the workforce. Others have retired. As I've gotten older, my same-age peers have thinned ranks, so I find myself more and more dependant at work on being included with the younger co-workers. You might be interested to know that in the US the Age Discimination Laws in the workplace kick in to protect us at 40. There's a reason for that based on the experience of workers who have been there. Part of me (the practical side) says, Oh HELL no!, and will consider what I need to do to stay in the loop. Yet, do we want to have to hide our age, to "pass," in the same way others have had to when they've face discrimation? The other part of me (the idealist side) also says, Oh HELL no!, and decides to fight that. I've never bought into the large breasted standard that US culture worships. I've always been slender, and my C-cups are fine. I never wanted more people noticing my chest, unless I was undressing for their pleasure. So, breast augumentation is out of the question for me, unless I have a health tragedy and think I need reconstruction to fully heal. But I do care for my body and my complexion. I do Tai Chi and meditate and exfoliate and take vitamins. That's all important, and it can't hurt, might help. I have found, though, that I'm pretty happy with my aging, even the sagging under my chin, and I get angry when I think I need to hide it to survive in corporate America. I think, "I could have that tightened up ..." but where does it end? Old skin is old skin, and after a few "lifts" it just looks stretched. What to do? I have found that I have to try a little harder, now that I'm older, to engage my younger co-workers in order not to be invisible to them. I have found that I don't automatically get the attention I used to get when I was younger, which I took for granted, and which helps with the informal mentoring or just getting your work done quickly because YOUR phone calls get returned first. People respond to attractiveness. But here's a radical concept: We can age attractively. Implicit in the discussion here about face lifts and breast augmentation is the fact that we're equating attraction strictly with youth and its sexual attraction, and I can tell you that there's more to it than that. I learned that at some point I had to let that go in the workplace, or look ridiculous. After a certain point, who is it that we want to be oogling at us that way? The 22 yr old print room guy? I'm not a couger. Nobody wants that rep at work, even if they date younger men (my husband is four yrs. younger than I am). I have learned that in addition to staying healthy and active that developing a great inner life and supporting the success of my younger coworkers (which includes my bosses) with my knowledge, skills, and abilities, plus having a wicked sense of humor, is serving me very well. I do have to work harder than I used to, socially, but I get great results. I have to wonder if I had done this earlier in my life, where I might be by now. So I walk a narrow path between the yes/no answers to the original question here, and the jury's still out on my case, but as of right now, my answer is "No, thanks."