My Partner Wants To Video Tape Us Having Sex. I'm Not Sure I'm Comfortable With That.

Last week's poll Are You Open To Swinging With Other Couples was a very popular poll! A firm answer of "NO WAY" from 48% of you to those of you who prefer not to share you partner was an indication that many of us are not as adventurous as the 38% of you said "I haven't but I might". The remaining 14% of the women who took this poll were very open to the idea and answered "Hell yeah!! I need variety without cheating."

In this week's Straight Talk we take a look at the newest trend of couples making homemade sex tapes! Take our latest poll: Have You Ever Made A Homemade Sex Tape?

"My partner wants me to videotape us having sex. I'm not sure I feel comfortable doing this. What's your opinion?" - Shy Susie

Making home porn isn't anything new, but it's become something that's more widely accepted. A quick Google search of the words "home made porn" brings up hundreds of responses, including many that give blatant instructions on how to make great porn at home. In the article "Everyone's A Porn Star" Dr. Garielle Morrissey stated that filming yourself having sex is something "regular" people do, with video cameras now in the top 20 list of sex toys. Little did we all know that that the video camera we bought for little Johnny's first birthday party would become a sex toy!

FREDA SAYS: Home porn, Amateur porn, Homemade videos, youporn.com, pornotube.com, xtube.com, etc, etc…is it any wonder why porn is a $14 billion a year industry? This is a great question and something that is becoming increasingly popular as so many couples live apart do to jobs or other issues. Mark Penn has dedicated a chapter in his book Micro Trends to “Commuter Couples.” In chapter 3, he discusses the new frontier of relationships and marriage. With two careers, two houses, flying in to see each other so many days out of the month, this is becoming a significant trend. Now what does this have to do with porn and making your own porn videos…..well what the heck do you do when you and your partner are apart for two to three weeks or even months at a time? Make videos? Send pictures? Have phone sex? I would.

So with out further ado let me answer this week’s question. Have I ever made home porn? Yes, twice recently. At first it seemed seductive and forbidden, but watching it was a whole different story. It was awkward, hilarious and erotic…..huh…that quickly turned into weirdness. I just felt weird watching it when it was all said and done. Come to think of it, IT DID NOTHING FOR ME. I prefer keeping my eyes open, connecting and replaying that in my head. I find that much more exciting than making a video. So, I have retired my video camera, had a funeral for it and have given up on becoming a “Porn Star.” I prefer to stick with my vivid imagination because it is just so much more sensual and it leaves a lot of room for fantasy and imagination. T.V., video’s, they leave no room for the imagination. It is all right there out in front of you and then it is over. I look much better in my imagination then I do on video and there is where I will stay.

I remember many years ago when dating one guy he was always asking if he could video tape us and I cringed at the thought. That being said it certainly created curiosity in me and I added it to my ‘bucket list.” I can proudly say, “Been there, done that, can cross it off and never really look back.”

Creating home porn presents some potential problems and there are some guidelines to follow. First, I’m glad I said no to the guy I was dating five years earlier because we broke up shortly there after and recently I have heard some pretty embarrassing stories of women who took pictures or made home made videos with a guy only to be plastered all over the web or shown to all his guy friends and then some. Especially now with the launch of the upgraded, new and improved, 3G iPhone, phone porn or rather "pornucopia" is going to sky rocket.

When I received this question, I asked around to see what type of responses I would get from other women and here are some of the things that they said if you are planning on making your own porn video’s:

1. Really know and trust your partner or keep the video.

2. Don’t let your face ever be in any of the pictures in case he decides to show the world and you don’t know about it until you get a call from your boss or your parents or worse your kids because they recognized your face. You thought it was erased and between the two of you only to find out he had a change of heart! I don’t care how old you are, that is embarrassing and humiliating.

3. If possible, use your camera and delete it when you are done with it. Don’t give a copy to anyone unless you are certain you can trust them implicitly. There are other ways to get attention.

Homemade porn is becoming increasingly popular. A recent study of Australian women had some startling results that Aussie women prefer homemade porn. This new homemade porn or “amateur porn” is becoming a huge threat to the porn industry. This year, some major porn studios are suing sites like youporn.com, and pornotube.com because they are really cutting into their profits. Amateur porn seems to be very popular because it is real, with real people, real women and more over it is free.

SEARAH SAYS: Haven't made any dirty movies with my partner and frankly the idea freaks me out a little. I have a lot of self confidence, but am not interested at looking at myself having sex. If fact, I try very hard to only do it in places where there are no reflective surfaces. That said I'd LOVE to make a movie of my partner doing dirty things alone, but she feels the same way I do. Lets face it, sex is best when we aren't worried about how we look, and hot nasty sex can be less than pretty.

Searah is a sex educator and owner of Early2Bed. All members of AlphaWomen.com get 10% off of their online purchases when they type in ALPHA in the coupon code area when checking out! Stop by http://www.early2bed.com/ today!

GABE SAYS: I have never made porn with any of my girlfriends. A girlfriend once suggested the idea, but we never acted on it. I do feel the pornography that’s out there sucks; ten guys sticking their cocks in every possible orifice of some seemingly drugged-up female who’s pretending to enjoy being completely ravaged (in a bad way) while she’s gagging her eyes are watering. I want to see some romance and good acting. I want to see a real loving couple go at it in a meaningful way. I don’t care if it’s real as long as I believe it is, like a real movie. I want to see a couple make love as if they need it and they want each other to feel good. Yes, this is a lot to ask, but I’m truly sick of the misogynistic sex most porn portrays. This is not to say I don’t enjoy watching some porn, on occasion, especially when I’m single, I need some inspiration. I just wish there was something I could relate.

Do I have the ability to make better porn? I’m not sure, and I’m not really anxious to find out. I just want some talent beyond some unenthusiastic groans, monster phalluses, and fake breasts. Most people I’ve discussed this with do not share my sentiment. Most people want to see two people jack-hammering it out like lions on the planes of the Serengeti. And porn is a huge money maker, so the industry experts are doing something right and at best I’m an uber-niche market. More than likely I’m alone in my demand for high-quality, real pornography. Or, what I want exists and I haven’t found it.

ANJE SAYS: Yes! And the best part is - we watch it together and its gonna sound odd, but I really love to watch myself on camera! Maybe because i never get to see myself that way and it really turns me on. And the full action of his member doing it to me and my body reacting - that is also awesome. The exchanging of the love faces is also a treat.

TRAVIS SAYS: I haven't gotten the chance to make a home-made porn! I don't know if it's because I'm too self-conscious, or maybe because I'm a little frightened of where the video could end up (i.e. an office email, a link on my facebook, or something even more embarrassing), but I haven't even considered filming myself in "the act."

For those of you who have the gaul to go through with a home-made porn, PROPS to you. That's gotta be fun!

We hope we've given you some things to think about when toying with the idea of making a home sex tape. Next week we will discuss a question about phone sex!

If you have a question you would like answered, please email info@alphawomen.com OR send an anonymous/private message to Straight Talk. We have the answer!

Straight Talk:
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Saying "NO" To Sex Without Rejecting Your Partner.
How Much Masturbation Is Healthy?
My S/O Has Been Begging Me To Have Phone Sex With Him. I'm Not Sure I Can Do This!
My Partner Wants To Video Tape Us Having Sex.
My S/O is very intrigued about swinging or having a fling with another couple.
What Do You Fantasize About While Masturbating?
When Do You Ask For A Blood Test?
Should A Woman Be The First To Say "I Love You"?
Texting, Emailing, Dating - What Do These Three Things Have in Common?
I'm Not Attracted To My Partner But He Pays The Bills. Is This Fair?
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Sex With Your Ex?
Is It Okay To Remain Friends With Your Ex?
Starting Over After The Loss Of A Loved One.
Picking Up The Tab. Who Pays?
Taking Sex To The Green Level
Settle Or Wait?
Internet Relationships. Is It Cheating?
Why Do Men Like Eliot Spitzer Pay For Sex?
What Is Cheating?
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Can You Gauge the Health of Your Relationship By the Frequency of Your Sex?
Younger Women Dating Older Men - Right or Wrong?

Videos:
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For Your Man:

Multiple Orgasms For Your Man - Part 1
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Straight Talk:
Freda & Katherine on Being Single, Dating, and Relationships - Part 1
Freda & Katherine - on Men, Dating and Relationships - Part 2
Freda & Katherine on Dating - Part 3
Freda & Katherine on Dating & Relationships - Part 4

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Comments

j2parks says:

All for it!

Posted July 18th, 2008

I'm all for being a secret porn star.

In my past relationship my boyfriend of four years hid a tape in the room and taped us. Later that night he popped it in without me knowing and I was furious BUT as the tape went on I went from anger, to disgusted, to turned on and we ended up having sex again and again. Now the next morning I tore the tape up but the point is I like it.

My husband and I made tapes almost all 6 days of our honeymoon. Think about looking back in 50 years and saying 'wow I did that!'

I even think I perform a little better when that little red light is on...and the sex lasts longer...so he doesn't look bad on tape ... lol!

Two thumbs from me! Smiling