Last week's poll Does Phone Sex Play A Part In Your Relationship had an overwhelming response when it came to the answer: "Yes! It's the Next Best Thing to Being There". A little over 81% of the voters make phone sex a part of their relationship with 11% of voters admitting to giving it a try but finding that it wasn't something they liked. The remaining 7% of voters claimed that they haven't tried it but certainly would put it on their to-do list! Perhaps this is why everyone loves free nights and weekends on their cell phones!

In this week's Straight Talk we are discussing those three little words and who should say them first. Take our latest poll: Who Should Say "I Love You" First In A Relationship...The Man Or The Woman?

Should A Woman Be The First To Say "I Love You"? - Leary Linda

It seems as if the dynamics of a relationship change instantly when those often tough to spit out words, "I Love You", are said for the first time. It's a bit absurd that the words that mean so much are so difficult to say. Often it's the fear of rejection that cause some of us to hold back the three words that may make or break a relationship. Who hasn't heard the saying "it is better to have loved and lost rather than never to have loved at all"? The fact is no shame no game. So why is it so difficult for us to say we love, to admit we love and to claim love? And why is it often thought that women have to wait for a man to say the magic words? Does it really matter?

FREDA SAYS: This is a great question! If you love him then just tell him! Why does it matter who says it first? Many times women are more in touch or in tune with their feelings than men are and consequently most men take longer to express it. I told GC that I loved him well before he said it to me but I didn’t expect him to say it, nor would I want him to say it if he didn’t mean it. I just knew it along time before he did. Now when he says it, I know that he really means it and I appreciate hearing it when he does say it. Those are some pretty powerful words and unfortunately they are used all too loosely today. Don’t say it unless you are 100% sure you mean it. Love is unwavering, Lust is temporary. I say GO FOR IT but don’t expect him to say it in return.

I would also say to listen to your gut. The very fact that you asked this question tells me that there is uncertainty on your part about this relationship to begin with. What are you afraid of? What are the signs you are getting from him that made you want to ask this question?

BEAUTYMARK SAYS: I personally abhor silly rules when it comes to relationships. If a woman loves a guy and has the confidence to tell him before he gets the chance to say "I love you" first, she should tell him! I mean we are adults right? I do think women should know the risks involved before they drop the "L" bomb though.

1. One woman's time table for falling in love might not be the same as her man's. Are you willing to hear "thanks" in response to your "I love you?" Also, the fact of the matter is that he might not have said "it" first, because he might not be in love with her. I truly believe that when a guy is in love, he is not afraid to say it. There are cultural exceptions to this! Many people in India for example never say "I love you." It just isn't how they express love.

2. If he doesn't love her, but he is comfortable with having her around/dating her/eh em...sleeping with her, he might say "I love you" out of obligation, to keep her around, or to avoid an awkward situation. And what sucks about that, is that she'll never know! He'll keep it up for as long as he can until he breaks, and breaks up with her!

3. If he doesn't love her, and doesn't care that much about keeping her around, he'll probably become "very busy" soon after the "shock and awe" of the love bomb, and she'll likely see and hear from him less and less, (which might be a good way of getting rid of a loser in the end!)

Overall, I think that the true motivations behind "I love yous" are usually pretty obvious to the person on the receiving end. If a person says "I love you" after the first date, be assured, psycho status will be attributed immediately. However, if your feelings are well balanced, thought out, and based on a relationship of mutuality and respect, chances are you'll get a "right back atchya" a "ditto" or an equally romantic equivalent that reflects the nature of your relationship.

I heard a quote many years ago that has stuck with me ever since, "If you truly love someone...chances are the other person loves you too." So what is holding you back?

ANJE SAYS: Ugh. Nope. Most times I've said the "L" word first, it usually meant I was in love with the Jimmy stick. Let him say it first. Adam was created before Eve after all.

If you have a question you would like answered, please email info@alphawomen.com. We have the answer!

Related Posts:
Sex, Orgasms & Men!
Why Do Women Cheat?
Sex Starved Wives & Women
Sex Talk - Vibrator's - Part 1
Female Sexual Dysfunction and Pharmaceutical Companies
When Is It Okay To Get Involved With A Married Man?
When Is It Okay To Get Involved With a Married Man? - Part II
Sex Drive Over 40!
Can You Re-Create Romance with an Ex?
When Is A Relationship Too Much Work?
What Is Cheating?
Blow Job Basics!
How To Go Down On A Woman!
Settle or Wait?
Unable To Orgasm With Your Partner